Connected
by ajunebuga
Summary: Tinker toys had always been her favourite:   Rachel reflects on the, close, relationship she has with her fathers.      This story may be disturbing to...most...readers.


Connected

Disclaimer: I bought it...but then Ryan was so sad that I had to sell it back to him :(

_A/N: So I do not know WHERE this came from. Mature content. Mature, disturbing content. _

_0o0o0o0o0_

By the time she knew that what they were doing was wrong, it was too late. She craved it. It was now the only way she could sleep through the night, nestled between them. She wondered if they had known what they were doing, when the first began. Either way, there was no turning back now.

0o0o0o0o0

They had given her a package of tinker toys for her fourth birthday. The 'retro' toy had intrigued her. The long sticks, the cookie shaped round connectors. The way you could piece them together to create an infinite number of combinations. Her fathers seemed happy that she had taken to so well to the toy, and encouraged her to play with them whenever possible. Pointing out that you cannot join any two sticks together, without the help of the round piece. It, they said, was the most important. It held everything together.

0o0o0o0o0

For Chanukah she had received a set of curiously shaped objects in ascending sizes. From a tiny one barely bigger than her middle finger, to one that was bigger than Daddy's thumb. They were hide-and-seek toys, Daddy said. They spent the winter holidays finding new places to hide them until Daddy had declared that they had found everywhere in the house to hide them and she would have to think extra hard of a place to put them.

0o0o0o0o0

Their family had always had an open-door policy necessitated by their one bathroom house. She knew the basic differences between men and women early on (having 2 fathers will do that to a girl). It was one night at bath time with both of her fathers that the similarities between human anatomy and her favourite toy was raised. Her Papa had pointed out that both he and Daddy had tinker toy sticks, and she had a cookie connector. (He had wiggled the washcloth into the area between her legs for emphasis and she had felt a strange warmth wash over her).

0o0o0o0o0

It was after Passover that her Papa had helped her to find new places to store her hide-and-seek toys. He had lifted up her pink blouse and placed the smallest one in her belly button. Telling her to keep it there until her Daddy found it. She had managed to keep it hidden for a few hours before she stood up to stretch after lunch and it fell out. She was so disappointed that she ran crying to her room. A few minutes later her Papa came in and soothed her tears. He listened as she explained the problem in a teary voice, and then he came up with a solution she never would have thought of.

It was an uncomfortable hiding place at first, but she found that she soon barely noticed its presence. Then Daddy changed the rules of the game. He said that he was bored of looking for the smallest hidey-toy...and that he would like to look for the next sized one now, since he had not had any success with the tiny one. Rachel grinned. She was winning the game! She ran to get the bigger toy, and with a tiny gasp, managed to place it in her hiding place. She liked winning.

0o0o0o0o0

They had been playing the game for over a year now. One night at bedtime the three were snuggled on the bed. They were having a light-hearted argument about whether to read sleeping-beauty or Cinderella for her bedtime story. It ended in a tickle war with Rachel's nightie up around her stomach. Suddenly her Daddy rolled her over on her stomach and made a big show of 'finding' the hidey toy. She was disappointed that he had finally found her best hiding spot. However, her Papa made her feel better by pointing out that she had two connector parts. Tracing his finger around the edges of each while her Daddy looked on. She felt her Papa gently slip a finger into her best hiding place as he lightly rubbed circles on her back. Her Daddy said he was feeling left out and wondered if he could connect too so he stretched out a finger as well and placed it in her front connector. She felt full of the love of the two most important people her her young life.

0o0o0o0o0

From then on, they made time to 'connect' before bedtime every night. Rachel was comforted by the fact that those she loved wanted to be close to her, as it was quite the opposite experience at school, where people were tripping over themselves to stay away from her. Being connected to her fathers became an important part of her nightly ritual, she found she did not begin to get sleepy without it.

0o0o0o0o0

This continued for a few more years. Then one Father's Day she was playing with her fathers. Tinker toys, as usual. It seemed it was their favourite game too, and though she felt that she had outgrown it somewhat, she didn't want to disappoint them, and so she played along. Her Daddy asked her if she remembered that he and Papa had connector sticks as well as their fingers. And that the sticks were meant to fit in her connector cookie. Rachel was surprised. She didn't think people could fit together the same way as toys, she was excited to try it. Daddy said that since it was their first time connecting this way, they would only connect two people. He had led her to the big bed in her fathers bedroom, with Papa following behind. They all climbed on the bed and the two men helped her to take off her clothes. The different part today was that her fathers took off their clothes as well. Rachel was surprised to see both of her father's sticks had grown long and hard, just like her toy. She was a little mad that they had not shown her that trick before. They had a big cuddle all together and then Daddy put some sort of slimy goo on his stick, and 'connected' it to her front cookie. It hurt more than she thought it would, but as he stayed still and her Papa rubbed soothing patterns over her back, and traced her back cookie with the same goo she found she relaxed. She felt the familiar sense of comfort as her Papa let his finger slip all the way in and filled her up.

0o0o0o0o0

They had played this game for awhile before her Daddy said her back cookie was getting jealous. Her Papa helped her to make the back cookie feel wanted by connecting it with his stick. As always, it was the three of them, and her Daddy made sure her front cookie wasn't jealous by keeping it happy by connecting with his fingers. Her fathers must love her very much to want to be so connected, she thought ans she felt her eyes drift shut as the comfort of being full washed over her. She was wanted, she belonged somewhere.

0o0o0o0o0

She was excited. Her fathers had told her that today, at bedtime they were going to all connect together, properly. She could barely sit still at school, wriggling so much in her chair that her teacher commented on it and told her to settle down. Causing the class to laugh loudly. When she got home her fathers cooked her her favourite meal, and then took her to their bedroom and helped her to get ready for bed. All three got into the large bed and cuddled up together. Her fathers explained that she was the most important member of their family. They used her tinker toys to show her that two sticks could never fully connect face-to-face. As much as they may want to, they had connector cookies at the back only. They then showed her how a connector cookie with two connector holes could allow the sticks to do just that! She was happy that her fathers needed her to solve this problem. It was nice to be needed. They explained that she was the key piece to keep their family together.

She snuggled down between them as they kissed and cuddled around her. She felt surrounded by love. When both of their connector sticks were ready Papa gently slipped into her back connector, and when she was comfortable, her Daddy slipped into her front connector too. She had never felt so full. It was overwhelming and a little uncomfortable, and she felt a few tears leak out of her eyes. Still, her fathers seemed very happy and were moaning and gasping into each others mouths over her head. She practised the breathing exercises her singing teacher had showed her and forced her body to relax. She was lucky that her family fit together so well. Even though she had been adopted, the three of them fit together perfectly. Rachel Berry belonged somewhere.

0o0o0o0o0

When she had attended her first high-school gym class, she had realized that most people seemed to 'connect' only to make babies, or, based on the crude comments of her classmates, for pleasure. Well she could understand that, it did feel nice to be connected. However, she soon came to understand that it was an activity that parents and children did not usually do together, it was something that mothers and fathers did together, alone. Still, she took this as just another way her family was different from the families of her peers and thought no more of it. Most of her class seemed to think her entire family was 'wrong', it was no wonder that they didn't seem to understand.

0o0o0o0o0

It wasn't until she began dating (Finn, Jesse, Noah...Finn again) that she realized that she shouldn't be connecting with her fathers this way. She began to hate herself for how much she needed their nightly cuddles. She must be sick, to want something like that, at least that's what she had heard, and read. She was nothing but a dirty pervert She tried connecting with Finn, but it just wasn't the same. She wasn't full enough. She had ended up going home and crawling into her father's bed, waiting for them to get home and make her feel better. She sighed. She was in to deep to ever get out, and if she was honest with herself, she didn't want to. It would always be the three of them against the world. Besides, she was so dirty and wrong, who else could ever love her? It would have to be a secret between the three of them forever. She couldn't risk anyone finding out, and she couldn't risk losing the comfort of belonging. It was nice to be needed.

_A/N: um, wow. Did I just write that? Hell, did I just THINK that? ... Although I have to admit I'm pleased with how this story turned out. Despite being wrong on infinite levels. Going to post now, before I lose the nerve. _


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